It took me a long time and a brand new job with Proud Working Mom.com but I have to say that I LOVE being a working mom. I am just a regular working mom. I’m not trying to have it all , or buy it all, or climb the corporate ladder. I’m just trying to take care of my family and develop something new I can be proud of while being a mom.
Oftentimes, working moms aren’t fully understood. Today, I am going to address a few of the more popular myths (or lies) about working moms. There are many and I am sure I missed a few so feel free to add on:
1. We are not good parents. MYTH. There are some purported experts that say you cannot have a successful career and a successful home life at the same time. (Yes, these are people from this century). I guess the first question I would ask these “experts” is how they are defining success? To me, success is found in the fact that you can show up to work, do the job assigned, help run your household, and raise your kids with your partner. Maybe we are not perfect parents, but we are great parents. In fact, I know LOTS of working mothers that do it all and do it well!
2. We have “problem” children. MYTH. Why do kids of working mothers get a bad rap? As a mother who has both worked and stayed home (and coached a soccer team full of kids for the past three years), I have personally experienced a wide range of children and backgrounds. Kids are kids. Some are difficult and some are not. Jumping to the conclusion that kids are problematic because their mother is working is insane. In fact, I would argue the opposite. Sending my kids to daycare was a great opportunity for them to socialize with other kids, stay engaged and learn during the day while having fun.
3. We let someone else raise our children. MYTH. This is just silly. We are still the ones providing the love, the care, and even the 3 a.m. wake up calls. Mom and Dad are doing most of the heavy lifting with help from others like day care providers and teachers. It is a team effort.
4. We all live “the good life”. MYTH. Sorry, just not true. We don’t have everything we want and we don’t do whatever we want. No one has it all. When we decide to work, it is not without sacrifice. Working mothers are faced with specific challenges, just like any other mom. By deciding to work, a working mother has taken on the challenge of being able to have a career AND a family. So I say to those Proud Working Moms, BRAVO.
5. We only work for money. MYTH. There are many reasons why we work: For finances, for sanity, for purpose, and because we genuinely like it!
Lets stop these silly myths dead in their tracks and become PROUD WORKING MOMS!
photo credit: Mara ~earth light~ via photopin cc
Have you seen this picture? It has been literally everywhere, spreading like wildfire on all media outlets. A picture of a mother/fitness blogger, her 6-pack, and her three kids posing the above question to the reader: “What’s Your Excuse?”
Many found the photo insulting, while others felt it was inspiring showcasing “what was possible” for women with children.
What was interesting is not so much the photo, but the very intense reaction from the public. After all, images of toned young women are not exactly uncommon these days. Clearly this post struck a chord. But why?
Fast forward to an exercise class I attended this past weekend. It was the day after Thanksgiving, my office was closed, and I went to a high-intensity circuit class. Halfway though, the instructor lost me. It wasn’t because of the very tough pace, it was what she said:
“Keep going, you can get there! Stop making excuses!”
So, within one week, I had two women I didn’t know imply that I was letting excuses prevent me from becoming my best self.
I know. Many of you PWM’s might think that I am blowing the scenarios way out of proportion. I probably am. The fitness blogger/mom never actually said “you must look like me” and the gym instructor was just trying to pump up the class. I get it, I really do (I am a VP of sales by trade, I cheer people along all day).
I think the reason both of these situations bothered me was the idea of striving towards someone else’s definition of perfection. As a working mother, this has been a life long quest and for me, it reaches well beyond fitness. I have stayed up too late on a school night making cookies for a bake sale, I have tried to sew a Halloween costume without knowing how to even sew on a button and I have attempted to attend every school conference, recital, and field trip when I had no vacation time left.
Why did I do these things? I was trying to be a “perfect working mother”. I know now, after many years of trying and failing, that there is no such thing. Please don’t roll your eyes- it’s true.
I believe the key to happiness is self-acceptance. It is appreciating who you are and striving for progress, not perfection- however you define it. For me, it doesn’t mean being a size 2, it means making time for my exercise class when I can and feeling good about that accomplishment.
So, after some thought, I am now ready to answer the question posed by the picture:
I don’t have an excuse. I don’t need one.
I am a Proud Working Mom.
Click here for the Keurig B60 Special Edition Brewing System
This is our Keurig B60 Review. For more information on the Keurig B60, click the link below:
Keurig B60 Special Edition Brewing System
It is no secret that here at Proud Working Mom, we love our coffee! I have been saying for months that caffeine is the official sponsor of working motherhood. We love coffee. We can’t live without it. So it makes sense that this week we would review a special kind of coffee maker, the Keurig B60.
Keurig B60 Review – What is it?
The Keurig B60 is a high quality coffee maker that uses the patented K-Cups – something that is very popular these days. With K-Cups, there is no messy grinding of coffee beans or using loose grounds (which usually spill all over my kitchen at 5 a.m.). This makes for an easy clean up as well. It comes standard with a removable 48-ounce water reservoir, a removable drip tray, 3 brew-size options and a two hour automatic shut off.
Keurig B60 Review – What I Liked
I know it is obvious but what I like the most is that I can drag my ass out of bed at 5 a.m. and make a cup of coffee without getting coffee grounds all over the kitchen. I also like that it doesn’t use filters and has 3 different brew-sizes: 5.25, 7.25, and 9.25 oz. It can also heat up water in 20 seconds. This means that you can make hot tea (there are K-Cups for Tea also) or you could even use it to make hot cocoa for the kids. The Keurig B60 can handle coffee, tea and cocoa!
If you are thinking about the Keurig B60, you’re most likely doing research and trying to decide between several different models. The Keurig line alone offers the B40, B50, and B60. They are all great models, however, out of the three, the Keurig B60 is the only model that brews 3 different sizes.
Keurig B60 Review – What I Didn’t Like
The only real disadvantage of the Keurig B60 is if you need massive quantities of coffee at any given time. This is a legitimate concern for those of us who consume mass quantities of coffee (although I am totally trying to cut down). Also, the K-Cups are more expensive than buying already ground bags of coffee at the grocery store. Lets be honest ladies – if you are spending $4 per day at a very well known and famous coffee house, then the Keurig B60 is actually the less expensive alternative!
Keurig B60 Review – Overall Thoughts
All in all, the Keurig B60 is a quick, versatile, and high quality coffee machine. It works great in households with different tastes. Everyone can have their own type of coffee, tea, or cocoa – everyone is happy! And the best part…no mess. There is literally no cleaning, except for your coffee cup. That is music to this Proud Working Mom’s ears! PWM approves of this product as a great investment and a necessary tool for all working moms!
Click here to check out the Keurig B60 Coffee Maker
In every job I have had, there has always been at least one woman, either supervisor or mentor, that I have been able to look up to. Not many, mind you, but I have always had the benefit of female leadership. I view female leadership as a very positive thing and believe that these leaders have an obligation to mentor younger women. I am not suggesting you have to be best buddies or give a woman anything that is not deserved, but women who have navigated the corporate (or other) ladder have a responsibility to younger women. This is my opinion. Unfortunately, I (and many other working women I have talked to) have encountered the occasional woman in a supervisory role, who does not embrace the sisterhood. In fact, this female supervisor actually acts in a way that stifles the growth or advancement of other women below her.
This woman is suffering from the Queen Bee Complex.
You are nodding your head, Proud Working Mom, because you know who I am talking about. It is the woman at work that surrounds herself completely with men. In meetings, a male’s opinion is valued over yours and she will always help a male colleague over you. She is not very friendly toward you, despite your efforts and you can’t figure it out. If she is a direct supervisor, you will never advance. She will make sure of that. This supervisor will not embrace your presence and your potential for greatness because she views you as a threat. Pure and simple. You are younger, prettier, and potentially smarter than she is and that is a problem for the Queen Bee.
As a young attorney, I fell prey to such a supervisor. I was so excited to be learning from an experienced female attorney and despite my best attempts, she never warmed up to me. Then it moved to her attacking me in meetings and criticizing everything I was doing. It was a no-win situation. I even remember clearly when she announced in front of some co-workers that she needed to see all of my files in her office, pronto. She made me drag my entire caseload (over 100 files) down to her office so she could review every, single, one. She could’ve easily come to my office to review these files but public humiliation in front of my colleagues was much more fun for her. At the time, I didn’t understand what was going on. As my supervisor, wasn’t her job to teach me the right things to do? I was new. Wasn’t her job to help me get better, instead of instilling fear? The only thing I accomplished in my year working under this woman was I managed not to let her see me cry. It was an awful experience and it took years for me to understand what was going on.
Are you in this space right now? Do you have a fellow PWM who is going through this? If so, here are some tips on how to deal with a Queen Bee:
- Do not let her see you CRY. You can go home at the end of the day and cry, or run into the bathroom if it cannot wait but whatever you do, never let the Queen Bee see you cry!
- Lean on your friends at work. Make sure you only share this work predicament with the people you trust. Go to these people for advice and counsel but be careful not to become an office gossip.
- Keep performing! I have said it before and I will say it again, if you are having a problem at work, you need to keep doing an awesome job, despite the problem person.
- Be graceful. If things don’t improve, you need to consider your next move. Do you want to stay in this job? If so, your next move is to talk to Human Resources about the problem. Ask if you can be reassigned to another supervisor. If you don’t want to stay, it is time to start setting up coffee and lunch dates with your professional network to see what else is out there. You can do it!
- Use your resources. If it is truly time to look for a new job, have no fear! Make sure you check out all the resources available to you. One great resource is Ladders.com. To start a new job search click below:
Find Your Next Great Job
Proud Working Moms, we are all in this together. Take a look around you and make sure you are supporting and embracing your fellow working women. Lets banish the Queen Bee!
photo credit: thegardenbuzz via photopin cc
I have a sign in my office that says:
“Keep Calm and Drink More Coffee; Get Stuff Done”
I love this saying, it speaks to me. After all, I am a working mother.
I love caffeine. It is the official sponsor of working motherhood. Specifically, I am addicted to coffee and diet sodas. On most work days, I am up around 5:30 a.m. and will often pound coffee straight through lunch. For the afternoon, I switch to diet soda. This has been my routine, and no, I DON’T think it is habit forming.
I just need it every day or I can’t function.
I saw my doctor last week for my annual well check (by the way, all of you PWM’s should make time to do this). She asked me all the usual questions and we ended up talking about caffeine. It went like this:
“Jennifer, I really think you should limit your caffeine intake to not more than 2 cups a day.” The wicked woman with the medical degree said.
“Absolutely. Not a problem.” I responded in my most confident business voice. When she left the room to order my bloodwork, I quickly mapped out a route to the nearest Starbucks. All this talk about caffeine really made me crave a cup of coffee.
Settle down, I only ordered a ‘tall’.
All kidding aside, I am a work in progress and taking baby steps to get healthier. Curbing my caffeine intake has been particularly hard to do without going completely insane. Is this sounding familiar?
PWMs, here are the top 9 signs that you are addicted to caffeine:
1. Before you begin the “Monday morning shuffle” you look like this:
2. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. For you, it looks like this:
3. This looks beautiful to you:
4. As you drive all over (home to school or daycare drop, school drop to work, work to school pick up, school pick up to evening activities, evening activities to home), your car looks like this:
5. You don’t think twice spending $4.50 every day on this:
6. At work, your desk looks like this (no judgement, so does mine):
7. Some days, there is no time to get a cup:
8. You wouldn’t mind working with this guy, as long as he shared:
Source: coffee archives
9. You conduct your own research (through Google) and learn that it is good for you. You knew it all along.
PWM’s…if you are looking for a great coffee maker, check out the Keurig B60, a great machine! I couldn’t live without it. Serious.
Click here for Keurig B60
top photo credit: jimforest via photopin cc