Back in the day, when my kids were younger, I was a busy working mom trying to balance all the things that came with motherhood. My weight was one of the things I struggled with the most. The pounds didn’t just melt off of me and instead, I held on to about 20 more than I wanted to. It was frustrating enough not being able to exercise, eat right, and lose the weight but compounding the situation was the number of people who would ask me if I was pregnant. I’m not talking about an occasional person that wanders up and whispers “Are you pregnant?” I am talking about all kinds of people approaching me in public places, asking loud and clear “OOOOHHH, when are you due?”
If there was a Guinness Book of World Records for the category “Most Asked if She Was Pregnant When She Was Not” – I would hold the record.
I had people ask me at the store, in a crowded courtroom, in a packed elevator, and even on an airplane. Once the awkward silence passed, it was my job to let them down easy (while my cheeks flushed with embarrassment).
And if you think that it was only insensitive men asking these questions, you are wrong. It was men AND women!
After a few years, cracks started showing in my otherwise confident exterior. While on a small airplane with my 4-month-old son, an eighty-year-old man asked me (really loud) how it was possible that I could be pregnant again. My response “its not possible. I’m not pregnant” and I continued down the aisle with my crying baby. The last straw came the day after my 40th birthday. I was at the gym getting weights before the start of an exercise class and a woman came up to me and asked “When IS that baby due?” as if she had been waiting for the baby for months. In front of about 25 people I responded politely “I am not pregnant” and walked away. Instead of dropping it and feeling embarrassed, she boldly continued to follow me and insisted “No, you are pregnant!” I ignored her and kept walking back to my place in the class with this woman still on my heels. She said one more time “You are definitely pregnant!” (as if I was and just didn’t know it yet) and that was it. I turned around with clenched teeth and with trembling hands and finally said what was on my mind:
No Bi*#& I’m NOT pregnant!
The good news is that she finally got the message (along with the 25 other people in the exercise class) but the bad news is that I left the class on the verge of tears and it ruined my week.
At the time, I swore that I would take this topic to the masses. To address this faux pas with both men and women. I needed to call Oprah. I didn’t have her number. I still don’t. Instead, I am writing this to publicly implore everyone: PLEASE STOP ASKING WOMEN IF THEY ARE PREGNANT!!!!
If you find yourself curious about a potentially pregnant woman, follow these 5 easy steps:
- Don’t ask her if she is pregnant.
- No, you can’t ask her “How are you feeling” while staring at her belly, it’s the same thing.
- Seriously, don’t ask her if she is pregnant. It’s none of your business anyway.
- You will regret it, I promise. Just drop it!
- Follow steps 1-4.