The Working/Traveling Mom

Working Mom Travels

My job requires me to travel, which I enjoy. Why do I feel so guilty?

I have three kids who range from 4 to 12 years old and I’ve been traveling since they were newborns.

Guilt is a funny thing. You likely feel guilty because you are enjoying something that you believe you should not. Although you can outwardly admit that you enjoy traveling, it sounds like you believe that you shouldn’t enjoy being away from your family. I would argue that being away can actually help you and your family if you allow yourself to enjoy the break and return refreshed.

When I started traveling for work after having my first baby, I had the “new mom guilt”. Now, I have “guilty pleasure guilt”. I have to admit, there are times when I look forward to escaping from the chaos of the day-to-day management of my family and have some quiet time for myself. When I travel for business I am highly productive during the day and when I return to my hotel room in the evening it is my time. There is nobody asking me to do anything for them – no kids, no husband, no dog…only me. Do I feel a little guilty? I used to.

The best way to combat mommy travel guilt is to truthfully assess what is making you uncomfortable. Begin by asking yourself a few questions:

  • Is your child care arrangement with a quality provider? Do you worry that your friends, your partner, your relatives are overextended while you are away? What about your daycare or nanny? Do the hours accommodate the trip, or do you need to make an adjustment? If your child care situation is taxing on your family, then find another way to care for your children and this way, you can leave knowing both your kids and caregiver will be satisfied and not counting the hours for your return.
  • Are your kids feeling your reluctance towards traveling and manipulating you? Are they getting you to drop some of the rules you have worked so hard to establish? This would include lax bedtimes, extra helpings of desserts, extra phone/text time, and lots of overpriced airport gifts. If you are falling into these common traps, your guilt is teaching your children to be manipulative and further implies that working is a bad thing. It isn’t so stop!
  • Is your traveling requiring you to miss to many significant events in your kids lives? Traveling is fine, I have done it for years. Consider that maybe it isn’t the travel but the sheer number of hours you are required to be away that is weighing on you. Whether you are in Tahiti or Denver, if you are gone too long consistently this can be a larger source of guilt than the travel itself.
  • Do you wish your kids missed you a bit more? Ahh…this one is tough. All of that fretting to call home and realize your kids are still making practice, still getting homework done, and still smiling. If this is the case, then you need to adjust your thinking a bit and become more comfortable with being a working/traveling mom. Your kids do miss you, and you miss them. You should feel confident that they are being well cared for and that you have established such a solid routine that your absence does not create a break from your family rhythm. This should be a source of pride so start thinking about it that way.
  • Do you feel guilty because you DON’T miss your kids? Many traveling moms I know hesitate to admit how much they enjoy being away, assuming they are being viewed as bad parents if they vocalize that they like the separation time from their families. It is perfectly fine to enjoy your occasional independence from your family. Let it go…we all need time to refresh and take care of ourselves. Use the time to take care of you. Get the manicure you have been wanting, order room service, watch a PG-13, or *gasp* a rated R movie. Catch up with a friend on the phone. Whatever you do, keep the guilt in check and remember the reasons that you are working in the first place.

You work to better the lives of your children by being able to provide for them. You work to be a great role model for your daughter who believes that she can become whomever she wants to be. You work to empower yourself and be your best you! Now get out there and DO IT Proud Working Mom!

 

South Beach Diet Delivery ~ PWM Approved!

Unknown-4Today on PWM, we are going to tackle healthy eating and diet. For all working mothers, one of the hardest things to do is to take on the world AND eat right. Heck, I am lucky if I can get the kids’ lunches packed up in the morning, much less worry about what I am eating.

Last week I got the results back from my yearly blood work. It is official, I have high cholesterol. It wasn’t a surprise. High cholesterol has a very strong genetic component and my Dad’s side of the family is the culprit. My Dad survived a heart attack at 56 and my Grandfather died of a heart attack at 55.

Unknown-3So, it has been a great ride but you could say that I am officially on the wagon – the diet, exercise, and eat right wagon.

In the past, the South Beach Diet is the only diet I have ever been able to sustain, and so I looked it up to see if there was a new book or plan that I could follow. Lucky me, I found out that they now DELIVER!

South Beach Diet Delivery ~ Official Site

South Beach Diet Delivery Review – What Is It?

The South Beach Diet Plan has been around for a long time. The South Beach Diet Delivery is the delivery of pre-made (chef) meals delivered right to your door and ready in minutes. For those that haven’t heard of the South Beach Diet, it is a 3-phase program where you start out with no carbs, bread, rice, potatoes or pasta (including fruit). The idea behind phase one is to purge your system of these carbohydrates and reset your system so you don’t crave them. Then, in phase two and three, you slowly incorporate whole grains back into your diet. I have been on the South Beach Diet before and learned lots, and also lost weight.

South Beach Diet Delivery Review ~ What I Like

As a busy working mother, the thing I like most about the South Beach Diet Delivery is the ease and convenience of having meals delivered to my door. I am always trying to cook a healthy balanced meal for my kids and husband with my diet in mind. It is impossible with all the other things I have going on, yet I want to make weight loss a priority. With South Beach Diet Delivery, I can just focus on preparing one meal and know that mine is already ready, and has exactly what I need (and nothing bad for me). Also, if you buy it now, South Beach Diet Delivery will give you free shipping for the first week!

South Beach Diet Delivery Review ~ What I Didn’t Like

There is virtually nothing that I don’t like about this system. I only wish South Beach Diet Delivery could deliver my family meals every day of the week. That is the only way this gets better. South Beach Diet Delivery is the perfect idea for a busy working mom like me!

South Beach Diet Delivery Review ~ Overall Thoughts

It is hard to remain impartial when it comes to this product. I have been on the South Beach diet before and saw great results. Now that the meals can come prepared to my door, there is no reason I should not start South Beach Diet Delivery right away!

Check it out today and good luck fellow PWM!

Merry Christmas Proud Working Moms!

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 Happy holiday season to all of our Proud Working Moms! More specifically, since today is Christmas, we want to wish you a very Merry Christmas! We hope that you are with your family and friends enjoying everything the holidays have to offer: food, booze, and disfunction (I mean, presents). Also, here’s hoping that you didn’t get any exercise equipment from your husband!

Warmly,
Jennifer and Julia

 

photo credit: Stuck in Customs via photopin cc

Working Moms, Stop Comparing

Comparison
Some of my friends seem to have everything and do it all perfectly. I am embarrassed to admit it, but I am jealous. How can I stop these feelings?

So, your best friend is wildly successful. She is happily married, has four perfect children, an immaculate home, and makes twice your income. You can’t help but wonder what she’s done right, and what you have done wrong. How many times have you measured yourself against someone else? But, what are you really measuring?

One of my most regrettable traits was that I used to compare myself to other women on a regular basis. In my personal journey to alleviate working mother guilt, I have realized just how negative an effect these comparisons can be. My judgments have run the spectrum: I compared myself to other working mothers, stay-at-home mothers, women who are thinner, prettier, younger, and have better clothes. I have spent endless time pondering my neighbors’ decorating styles, my co-worker’s income, or my high school friend’s marital status. Why?

What I have learned over the years is that comparisons are really just glimpses of jealousy. And…. jealousy is just a reflection of one’s own insecurities.  To get past these feelings you need to examine what is causing this unwelcome emotion.

Ask yourself a few questions:

  • Are you disappointed in yourself? Why?
  • Did you expect yourself to be more efficient, or better at juggling?
  • Why are you feeling competitive vs. celebrating the highs and lows of life with your friends and peers?
  • Do you feel you are being judged?

On the flip side, if you are the object of someone else’s envy, you should ask why you need to appear so accomplished, or if something is stopping you from showing your insecurities and faults. None of us are perfect.

Constantly comparing yourself to others is a no-win situation. The effort is time-consuming, and only results in depleting your confidence. If you look hard enough, you will always find someone who seems to do it better, quicker, or more effortlessly than you. Honor your uniqueness and remember you cannot know or understand anyone’s situation, just as no one could possibly know yours. Instead, be confident in your decision to work and keep your focus on having a happy life both at work and at home.

Working Mothers: Find Thyself!

Working Mothers: Find Thyself!

I am working full time and juggling motherhood, sometime I don’t know who I am anymore.  How do I get me back?

As a working mother with a demanding schedule that leaves me often feeling like I am burning the candle at both ends, it`s easy to downplay the importance of making time for myself and pursuing passions that are just my own. I know I am not alone in this. For many working mothers, taking time has become a strange and almost elusive idea- how do we do it and do we really need to? YES, ladies, we do.

I recently joined a program at Massage Envy, my latest attempt for some “me-time”. My membership gives me a full hour, once a month just for me. Whether it’s a facial or a massage, this is time I have set aside to really relax. To be sure that I did not lose this precious time and get caught up in other tasks (email, laundry, bills, grocery shopping, color coding my closet…), I took a precautionary measure and prepaid the whole year in advance. This way, I knew I would lose both the benefits and the financial investment unless I went. Guilt in reverse, I suppose.

Like all moms, it is easy to fall into the trap of taking care of everyone but ourselves. Making sure you are being kind to yourself is a way to ensure you will be the best mom, worker, and care taker of others. It is hard to think about, but the time will come when your children become independent, grow up, and leave home. Additionally, although we working mothers strive to love our work roles (this is sooo important), our positions will also evolve, change, and someday will likely come to a close. So, if your free time is totally devoted to your children or work, you run the risk of feeling empty or without purpose if you don’t take the time now to really foster who you are.

As a working mother, it can be challenging to meet all the demands of family, parenting, and work life. Finding a balance is a great idea, but some mothers still find it hard to find solitude or time to pursue passions and goals. Here are some tips to find time for yourself even if you have to give a little less time to your other duties.

  1. Stop on the way to or from work to take time for yourself: Make a stop on the way to or from work and take time alone. It might be a half hour of reading at the coffee shop or an hour at the gym. The important point is that you find the time to do what you enjoy without your family along for the ride.
  2. Schedule a time for others to take the kids: Schedule a time every week that your husband or another loved one cares for your children. This time can be used for exercise, shopping, going out with friends, or pursuing a hobby. Getting your family to respect this scheduled time every week may take some effort, but your mommy/non-work time is important.
  3. Help your kids entertain themselves: Find a time in your weekend when your children amuse themselves. While they are engaged or napping or watching their favorite television show, you can read a book, get caught up on your weekly t.v. series (that you never get to watch), go workout, or work on a hobby (i.e. scrapbooking). Any activity that gets you to relax and unwind while doing something you enjoy. This will help refresh your mind and body.

In order to live my life to the fullest, I need to make myself a priority sometimes. YOU DO TOO! Don’t forget to find and cultivate your passions and relationships that are just about you.

 

 

 

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